Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A Year of Living Ugly

Sometimes all it takes is one person to give you a monumental reality check into how damned lucky you are.
I'm sat at home, mouth clamped firmly shut because my jaw aches when I talk and my swallow is painful, silently cursing the Boy and his best friend (my other housemate) for not vacuuming, taking out the remains of the weekend's curry or emptying bins and for leaving crap around the front room all of which is preventing me from idling the afternoon in a haze of icecream and magazines.
Then I read this and I realise:
  • I have survived the removal of a pound of flesh
  • I have survived two hours under general anaesthetic
  • I am wholly and earnestly in love with a man
  • A caring, thoughtful and continually tested and proven man is in love with me
  • I have the brain and the wherewithal (just about) to pass this year of study and go on to do great things
  • The world is peopled by interesting, engaging, considerate and tender individuals, all negotiating their own private tragedies and trying their very best to be good. *

I feel lucky, and chosen, and perfectly ordinary too.

*I feel I should put mostly or largely or something specific about proportion into that last statement, because, goodness, the world and its population are not all... well... goodness. But I don't think now is the time to dwell on that or even give them mention. I feel lucky, and chosen, and perfectly ordinary too.

3 comments:

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

I think that this may just have made me happier than anything all day:-)

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful.

Did your tonsils really weigh a pound?

Helen said...

I think I was being dramatic and Shakespearean in my summoning of the 'pound of flesh' - I didn't find out how much they weighed but certainly more than a few grams! My airway actually feels like a freeway now - very strange feeling.
Maryam - considering how many people were touched by your post today, your response to mine makes me smile. Sending love x